How Not to Have a Conversation:
Apologize!
Matthew 5:23-24:
“So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar.
Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God."
Romans 12:18:
Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.
Terrible: "I'm sorry if you were hurt or offended by what I said."
Less terrible: "I'm sorry that you were hurt or offended by what I said."
Good: "I'm sorry that I hurt or offended you."
Be vague about what you're apologizing for
Proverbs 28:13:
People who conceal their sins will not prosper, but if they confess and turn from them, they will receive mercy.
Make the "mistake" mistake
Make excuses or explain yourself
Ignore the possibility of repeat
Mention the other person's contribution to the situation
"I'm sorry if you were offended by whatever I said or did. I didn't mean to, it's just that I was really tired and I got upset and made a mistake. Plus, it's not like you're perfect either and you've done the same thing 12 times, I just did it once and now you're all mad. But sorry."
"I'm really sorry for the hurt that I caused you by the way I spoke on Tuesday. What I said was thoughtless, rude, and wrong. My intent was to be funny and not to hurt you, but I know that the result was that you felt disparaged and made fun of in front of others.
I promise that I will be much more mindful of how I speak in the future, and although I cannot take back what I said, I have reached out to everybody who was there to let them know that I shouldn't have said what I did."
